Social & Emotional Development
Developing Self-Regulation
WiseTip: SE-REG-M2436-G01B

Acknowledge and talk about the ways your toddler is beginning to follow routines or simple rules, for example: “I like the way you hold my hand when we cross the street.”

WHY IT MATTERS

According to Kopp, between 12 and 18 months of age, children become capable of control, which involves the awareness of social demands and the ability to initiate, maintain, stop undesirable behaviour, and to comply with caregivers’ requests. By 24 months, they acquire self-control, which includes the ability to delay on request and begin to regulate behaviour, even in the absence of external monitors. At 36 months, children begin to be capable of self-regulation, or flexibility of control processes that meet changing situational demands.

After infancy, toddlers enter the stage where they are beginning to build motor and language skills that allow them to control some aspects of their environment, such as moving away from a loud noise or asking for something to eat. However, they continue to have strong emotions that far outweigh these emerging skills. In this developmental period, caregivers can begin to teach and model skills like waiting (brief delay of gratification) and using simple words to communicate feelings and needs. Adults are still mostly responsible for structuring a safe and manageable environment, as well as for providing comfort and reassurance when toddlers are upset.

Studies have also shown that child routines

as well as behaviour management techniques
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  1. Baron, A., Evangelou, M., Malmberg, L.E., Melendez-Torres,G.J., & Campbell Collaboration. (2017).The Tools of the Mind Curriculum for Improving Self-Regulation in Early Childhood: A Systematic Review. Campbell Systematic Reviews 2017:10. Campbell Collaboration. (Level I)
can be applied by caregivers to develop children’s self-regulation abilities. Having opportunities to practise expected behaviours through daily routines helps create and maintain appropriate child behaviours as it gives children consistency and helps with planning abilities.
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  1. Fiese BH, Tomcho TJ, Douglas M, Josephs K, Poltrock S, Baker T. (2002). A review of 50 years of research on naturally occurring family routines and rituals: cause for celebration? J. Fam. Psychol. 16:381–90. (Level III)

A toddler’s self-regulation develops as language develops. Researchers have found that the growing mastery of language leads to the emergence of private speech. Private speech consists of children talking to themselves to guide their thinking about what they should do. This behaviour helps younger children to move from other-regulation to self-regulation.

Adults who can model private speech to younger children develop their thinking processes and move on to regulate themselves. Giving children the words to label feelings also helps them develop a social-emotional vocabulary, which then helps them use words to regulate their emotions.
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  1. Cheyney, K., Wang, J., & Bettini, B. (2013). Make every word count: Using language as a bridge to self-regulation in early childhood settings. Dimensions of Early Childhood. 41(2), 11-17. (Level III)

  2. Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in society: The development of higher psychological processes. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. (Level III)